I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.  That must 
be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.  - David Bissonette

I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.  - 
Noel Coward, 1956

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him 
keep her.  - Sacha Guitry

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America.  The rest cheat in 
Europe-Jackie Mason

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get 
in, and those inside desperate to get out.  - Montaigne

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just 
can't face each other, but still they stay together. -- Hemant Joshi

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and 
suffering.

Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.  Second 
marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when 
they try to decide which one.

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.  After marriage, 
the 'Y' becomes silent.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every 
word you say, talk in your sleep.